Sometimes we want encouragement. Sometimes we just need to hear we’re doing okay. That’s human. But it’s important to name the difference between needing a boost and wanting to improve.
If you ask someone for feedback but really just want to be affirmed, you’re setting them up for confusion and yourself up for disappointment. One minute you’re saying “Be honest,” and the next minute you’re visibly upset when they are. It’s not fair to either of you.
Before you ask, be clear with yourself:
Am I looking for real feedback or just reassurance?
Am I ready to hear something I might not like?
Will I still be open if the tone is blunt or if I disagree?
You’re allowed to want encouragement. Just don’t call it feedback when what you really want is a pat on the back.