You asked for feedback, not a compliment
Description
You put yourself out there. You ask someone you respect to give their thoughts. You want to get better. But then they actually say something critical and you feel defensive, misunderstood, maybe even hurt.
It’s a common moment. We say we want feedback, but what we really hope for usually, is affirmation. We want reassurance disguised as insight. We forget growth doesn’t happen in the comfort zone. If you only accept feedback when it flatters you, you’re not asking to improve. You’re only asking to be praised.
It’s a common moment. We say we want feedback, but what we really hope for usually, is affirmation. We want reassurance disguised as insight. We forget growth doesn’t happen in the comfort zone. If you only accept feedback when it flatters you, you’re not asking to improve. You’re only asking to be praised.
Summary
When you ask for feedback, the point is not to feel good. The point is to see something you didn’t see before. To catch blind spots, hear how your actions land and challenge your own assumptions. That doesn’t mean every piece of feedback is valid. But if your first instinct is always to explain, defend, or ignore what you hear, it’s worth asking yourself: were you actually open to feedback, or were you looking for confirmation?
