It’s common for people to think that conflict is something to be avoided, but in reality, it’s a natural part of human relationships. In a mentorship, avoiding conflict is unhealthy. Problems don’t disappear if you sweep them under the rug or try to pretend that the issue doesn’t bother you. To further the trust that’s foundational to the mentoring relationship, grievances must be aired, discussed, and resolved.

The first step is to approach the issue with mutual respect. Both parties should use active listening skills to hear, without judgment, what the other is saying. The aggrieved party should be comfortable enough to discuss their unvarnished feelings, and the other should avoid getting defensive. Handling conflicts doesn’t mean you’re attacking the other person. You’re simply discussing how a particular situation makes you feel. Simultaneously you’re giving the other person a chance to hear you and respond.